[Buddha-l] Zen Judaism

Timothy Smith smith at wheelwrightassoc.com
Thu May 26 00:40:58 MDT 2005

Sorry I can't cite the source, but damn funny anyway, especially in 
light of recent discussions here.

> If there is no self,
> whose arthritis is this?
> Be here now.
> Be someplace else later.
> Is that so complicated?
> Drink tea and nourish life.
> With the first sip... joy.
> With the second... satisfaction.
> With the third, peace.
> With the fourth, a danish.
> Wherever you go, there you are.
> Your luggage is another story.
> Accept misfortune as a blessing.
> Do not wish for perfect health
> or a life without problems.
> What would you talk about?
> The journey of a thousand miles
> begins with a single "oy."
> There is no escaping karma.
> In a previous life, you never called,
> you never wrote, you never visited.
> And whose fault was that?
> Zen is not easy.
> It takes effort to attain nothingness.
> And then what do you have?
> Bupkes.
> The Tao does not speak.
> The Tao does not blame.
> The Tao does not take sides.
> The Tao has no expectations.
> The Tao demands nothing of others.
> The Tao is not Jewish.
> Breathe in. Breathe out.
> Forget this and attaining Enlightenment
> will be the least of your problems.
> Let your mind be as a floating cloud.
> Let your stillness be as the wooded glen.
> And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha
> with such rounded
> shoulders.
> Be patient and achieve all things.
> Be impatient and achieve all things faster.
> To Find the Buddha, look within.
> Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers.
> Each flower blossoms ten thousand times.
> Each blossom has ten thousand petals.
> You might want to see a specialist.
> For motorcycle maintenance, do the following:
> Get rid of the motorcycle.
> What were you thinking?
> Be aware of your body.
> Be aware of your perceptions.
> Keep in mind that not every physical
> sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.
> The Torah says, "Love thy neighbor as thyself."
> The Buddha says there is no "self."
> So, maybe you are off the hook.
> The Buddha taught that one should practice loving
> kindness to all sentient
> beings. Still, would it kill you to find a nice
> sentient being who happens
> to be Jewish?
> Though only your skin, sinews, and bones remain,
> though your blood and
> flesh dry up and wither away, yet shall you meditate
> and not stir until you
> have attained full Enlightenment.
> But, first, a little nosh.

Timothy Smith
Wheelwright Associates
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